moving forward

A lot of things have been happening in the past few days.
challenging to find one which are compatible with my belief and value system. I was invited to a networking marketing road show on 1st Nov 08.
I have to say that I was rather annoyed by the loud speakers. I met The CEO of the company who were Dato Dr Heow. I was not so impressed by him albeit his talk was interesting enough.
I was as if I were in a strange world. I didn't understand why people gave him such a big attention and lots of people would like to take pictures with him. The glamour didn't really impressed me. He did talk about Chinese community slowly being marginized, the inability of education to teach entrepreneurship, the parents and offspring relationship. I was expecting him talking more about his company and the products but there were none.
Anyway, I did talk to him about what qualities are needed to be an entrepreneurship, his answer was honesty and integrity. Luckily, I learned that from Steve Pavlina.
Anyway, when I discovered how expensive the health program costs, I was shock. My first question was how could average Malaysians can afford such a price. Firstly, it must be a ripe off and secondly people who are really in needs but cannot afford will be marginalized. Where is the integrity, I thought. I lost my interest.
It all started with 'financial turmoil' of the western world and the lack lustre of P-oled lighting performance from Cambridge Display that I am working on. The coming global recession might mean that the company might decided that P-oled is nota viable solution of the future. The opinion from the CEO is not positive. I have put my heart on this technology and I got depression of it becuase of that 3 years ago. I am not interested to go through what I had gone through 3 years ago. I was in fact crying for help from my higher-self. It was a silence except that I saw a tunnel of light. I got a bit depressed and frustrated. I needed to find something on weekend to divert my negative thoughts to something else. Well, again, i accepted a friend's invitation to Ipoh stock-list opening house and at the same time i could judge better whether it is a good way to generate income with honesty and integrity.
Again,i was rather not impressed by the opening ceremony. I was a bit shock that the opening ceremony served mainly oily and unhealthy food. It was a hypocrisy. I wonder whether because of my very high standard of ethical integrity might have deterred me from finding a good source of passive income. The ceremony was going to end soon. I asked my higher-self, if the work could align with my spiritual destiny, please proved it to me by wining the top prize ( 5 days 5 star cruise from Phuket to Singapore) during raffle selection I bought the distributor package just to try the product and awaiting confirmation from my higher-self. In fact i joined 30 minutes before the raffle selection. During the raffling, i concentrated and repeatively mention my needs. I was in a strong trance state. You know what, I won the top prize. I was in awe. I was speechless for an hour. Then, I thought, how can it be used to align with my spiritual destiny. Then, my mind came up , "Use the MLM to teach the law of attraction and higher-self to the downliners" . It was a great idea. I wonder why I never have thought of that before winning the raffle ticket. Was it because of the mental block? I am still keep wondering.