self-exploration of love

When you look deep within yourself, you know that you have the desire to be understood by your lover. A mutual understanding is required before the feeling of love can exist. This is extremely fundamental. Without two couples understanding each other, flights and verbal abuse surely ensure. Communication is the key. People would think that the couples just need to talk. It is far from the truth. Creative expression of emotions and thoughts are essential to add spices in a relationship. How do we learn to be more creative in our expression? Being an INTJ, I used to be strongly inclined with my thoughts. It is not easy for me express my emotions. I am more a logical person. During years of self-development, I learned to how to connect my emotion and express them. Most people don't know how to translate their feeling into words. I have found a method very useful for myself when I need to communicate complicated feeling. When you have a feeling, just take a moment to observe the picture/sound that is running into your mind. Take notice of the picture. You will find out that those pictures generate feeling within you. Describe the pictures in your mind and relate how those pictures create a response of feeling within you. You should not censor any information projected by your mind. You will be amazed by this method. You are communicating with sincerity. This is what I called creative expression of emotion. It is then up to the other half to accept what you had said. A mutual acceptance is needed to establish a common ground. Without mutual understanding, there will be no love
We, human, are, not perfect. To err is human as saying mentioned. If your partner makes a mistake, if you cannot forgive her, there will be no love. Often we made mistakes because of conflicting emotions. We need to understand such conflicting emotions. Make use of creative expression to explain the mistake you have made. Forgiveness is another essential element of love. Without forgiveness, there will be no love.
Why do we fall in love in the first place? Is it the physical beauty? Or is it his finer personality? This is called mutual admiration. We are attracted to people that we admire. The admiration can be purely physical. This usually is not lasting as we do age. Eventually, we will lose the physical attraction. We have a set of quality in a person that we admire. Personally, I admire people who are entrepreneur. It is partly due to the fact that I think it takes a lot of confidence, risk taking, strategy planning, self-discipline, passion, influential and social skills to be successful. Their abilities to withstand challenging time and later survive and flourish do give me inspiration on life. So, what are the qualities that you admire? What are the things that you admire about your partner? Is it because the way he loves you or because the way he makes you happy? Without mutual admiration, there will be no love.
Relationship can become tense during challenging time for either one or both partners. If one of the partners is experiencing emotional distress from work, knowing how to be supportive would strengthen the relationship. If the breadwinner lost his job, the family capability to be happy would be significantly reduced. I personally saw a family broke up because of this. One's might marry a rich man in order to feel secured. With a sense of security, they could feel loved as things take care themselves. Once the security is lost, the partner might feel discomfort to the extent that seeking other man for security. It is unfortunate as it has happened to one of my friends. Hence, I do believe that for love to be lasting, each couple needs to examine the reason to stay together. Without mutual emotional support, there will be no love.
Sometimes our loved one buy us gifts, help us to lighten the burden of life, gives us encouragement, spend quality time together and yet, we might take it for granted. The lack of mutual appreciation can strain the relationship. How do we show the appreciation? What type of appreciation is the most heart-felt? Honestly, I still yet to discover. A simply thank you is by far the least a person can do. I think the answer might lie in how someone express love. Without mutual appreciation, there will be no love.
Surprisingly people have different ways of expressing love to each other. The language of love is a book I highly recommended. Someone might like to give gifts generously to the partner while the partner might take it as a waste of money. Others might require affirmation of love from the partner regularly and yet the other might see it too excessive, a sign of lack of security. There are five languages of love: gift, intimacy, quality time, out of service and words. Understanding each partner primary and secondary languages of love will clear most misunderstanding. The book explains in details how mismatch of languages of love could result in perceived unlovingnes from the other half. Again, here we reaffirm the need of mutual understanding.
When you love someone, you want the best for your partner. It is rather inappropriate for the partner to let his loved one to continue destructive or unhealthy behaviour such as binge eating or drug taking. We understand that we need mutual acceptance. Yet we couldn't accept that your partner is destroying his life by excessive gambling for example. I am using a dramatic case here. Life is always more subtle than this. What you think the best for your partner, your partner might not think it is the best for her. For example, I am more of a homely person and fiercefully independent . My partner might think that I might be feeling lonely. I didn't mix with lots of people. My partner might encourage me to mix with more people and more social-able. The question is I like to spend my time being myself, doing reading, and writing and connect myself spirituality. I tend to connect to people who are share almost similar thoughts and values. I have been using the law of attraction to attract them with considerable success. There are cases where the partner has been increasing in weight over the years posting health hazards. Although he might love her, he might not want to hurt her feeling. It is a lower level of love as it seeks short term solution for what is best for the long term. When it comes to what is best, there are always shades of grays. Being wise and having the wide perspective would help.

INTJ (Introversion, iNtuition, Thinking, Judgment) versus INFJ (Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Judging)

Well, according to the test, I am 60% INTJ, 40% INFJ which are quite contradictory.

INTJ

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INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake ... INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play ... Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel ... This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals ... Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense.

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INTJs are analytical. Like INTPs, they are most comfortable working alone and tend to be less socialble than other types. Nevertheless, INTJs are prepared to lead if no one else seems up to the task, or if they see a major weakness in the current leadership. They tend to be pragmatic, logical, and creative. They have a low tolerance for spin or rampant emotionalism. They are not generally susceptible to catchphrases and do not recognize authority based on tradition, rank, or title.

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INTJs are strong individualists who seek new angles or novel ways of looking at things. They enjoy coming to new understandings. They tend to be insightful and mentally quick; however, this mental quickness may not always be outwardly apparent to others since they keep a great deal to themselves. They are very determined people who trust their vision of the possibilities, regardless of what others think. They may even be considered the most independent of all of the sixteen personality types. INTJs are at their best in quietly and firmly developing their ideas, theories, and principles.

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Hallmarks of the INTJ include independence of thought and a desire for efficiency. They work best when given autonomy and creative freedom. They harbor an innate desire to express themselves by conceptualizing their own intellectual designs. They have a talent for analyzing and formulating complex theories. INTJs are generally well-suited for occupations within academia, research, management, engineering, and law. They are often acutely aware of their own knowledge and abilities—as well as their limitations and what they don't know (a quality that tends to distinguish them from INTPs). INTJs thus develop a strong confidence in their ability and talents, making them natural leaders.

In forming relationships INTJs tend to seek out others with similar character traits and ideologies. Agreement on theoretical concepts is an important aspect of their relationships. By nature INTJs can be demanding in their expectations, and they approach relationships in a rational manner. As a result INTJs may not always respond to a spontaneous infatuation but wait for a mate who better fits their set criteria. They tend to be stable, reliable, and dedicated. Harmony in relationships and home life tends to be extremely important to them. They generally withhold strong emotion and do not like to waste time with what they consider irrational social rituals. This may cause non-INTJs to perceive them as distant and reserved. Nevertheless, INTJs are usually very loyal partners who are prepared to commit substantial energy and time into a relationship to make it work.

INFJ

INFJs are conscientious and value-driven. They seek meaning in relationships, ideas, and events, with an eye toward better understanding themselves and others. Using their intuitive skills, they develop a clear vision, which they then execute decisively to better the lives of others. Like their INTJ counterparts, INFJs regard problems as opportunities to design and implement creative solutions.

INFJs are quiet, private individuals who prefer to exercise their influence behind the scenes. Although very independent, INFJs are intensely interested in the well-being of others. INFJs prefer one-on-one relationships to large groups. Sensitive and complex, they are adept at understanding complicated issues and driven to resolve differences in a cooperative and creative manner.

INFJs have a rich, vivid inner life, which they may be reluctant to share with those around them. Nevertheless, they are congenial in their interactions, and perceptive of the emotions of others. Generally well-liked by their peers, they may often be considered close friends and confidants by most other types. However, they are guarded in expressing their own feelings, especially to new people, and so tend to establish close relationships slowly. INFJs tend to be easily hurt, though they may not reveal this except to their closest companions. INFJs may "silently withdraw as a way of setting limits," rather than expressing their wounded feelings—a behavior that may leave others confused and upset.

INFJs tend to be sensitive, quiet leaders with a great depth of personality. They are intricately and deeply woven, mysterious, and highly complex, sometimes puzzling even to themselves. They have an orderly view toward the world, but are internally arranged in a complex way that only they can understand. Abstract in communicating, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. With a natural affinity for art, INFJs tend to be creative and easily inspired.Yet they may also do well in the sciences, aided by their intuition.

SMILE FOR ME

My beautiful friend where has your smile gone?
I had to leave you to weep alone.
There is none like you that I have ever known.
The warmth of your smile –
Like the first rays of morning sun,
That warms the earth after the darkest night,
That beckons those with wings to take flight.

You smiled for me for a little while.
I basked is your sunshine for as long as I could
Now the darkest night has come my way
And when the morning sun sends its warm rays,
To beckon my spirit to fly away.
On I will soar into the endless light.

As I begin my accent above remember,
Loving memories of you shall always be mine,
What you hold in your heart I hold too,
Your memories of me are my memories of you.

So smile for me one last time
And when the darkest night does come your way,
And the morning sun calls you to fly.
Soar into the light and don’t look away
For I will be waiting to welcome you home.

I will smile for you my beautiful friend,
A smile of joy that you will smile too
For we will share the greatest of truth’s,
Where love is
We shall never die

love letter

A fire that is carefully stoked and tended will not burn out.

It will blaze so brightly that its warmth lingers in your heart.

It will beckon your tired soul and embrace you in its radiance.

The familiar smell of its smoke can bring a wistful smile,and the occasional blast of fireworks can take your breath away.

Its sizzle can enthrall you; its flickering flames entrance you.

The glowing embers provide comforting heat,and the knowledge that a subtle movement or gentle breezecan rekindle a bonfire.

My love, the spark that ignited the day we met remains an eternal flame.

Spirituality and materialism

We might be bought out by our parents under the perception that money is evil. We might be told by friends that in order to be successful in business you need to be cunning. You need to know how to take advantage and exploit other people. We have experienced this during the early of industrial revolution. This not only ensures survival of the business but also maximum generation of profit. People who are good hearted might see living in abundance and prosperity are not in-line with their own values. Most people end up working for others. You can see them in different types of co-operations. Some people work with a boss with only concern of money generation. Employees might often feel un-appreciated and taken advantage of. These further re-affirm the idea that rich people are bad. With increasing responsibility such as family and house loan, most people start to close half of their eyes just to carry the normal life. Some delves themselves in the world of fantasy such as computer games and television. They are trying to escape of the reality. The reality is over-whelming for them. Their dreams are never realized.
What I would like to offer here is a new kind of mentality. A new type of business is springing out around the world. The business is about creating values and delivering those values to the society. As the world education quotient is increasing people are adept of distinguishing values that are benefiting to them.
Let’s take example of newspaper. For consciously aware people, they can easily distinguish between newspapers which crave for sensationalism and report the truth. They are even political bias in some newspapers motivated by various reasons. Do you notice that newspapers based on sensationalism tend to locate locally? Expansion of overseas business is proving very difficult. The newspapers which place the truth seems to travel far around the world.

A suitable business is about creating and or delivering values to others. The idea of values is highly subjective and often depends on one’s conscious evolution.
For some people, such as growing up teenagers, they might place strong values on fame and beauty. They might aggravate towards celebrity news and every gossip of it. For the grown-up, they might interest in learning how to invest their money. They might find books, seminar, and workshop about investing a great value to them. Knowing your own value is the first step. Your business can be an expression of your values. Please a few minutes to list down your ten values and arrange them according to importance to you. Make sure that the top few a reflection of your unstoppable passion.

One of passions is to teach people on how to integrate spirituality and materialism in their daily life. It corresponds to my need to raise the human consciousness about spirituality and to express the abundance. What is yours? We need to find a career where we can express our values. In this way we would be happier. By delivering such values in the form of service or product we would start generating money. Because you put your passion within your career, risks and obstacles pale into insignificance. One of the reasons people feel stressed during work is because their jobs are unable to allow them to express such values. They find it uninspired and they viewed the job as a job. Living within our values and passion inspired us. That’s why some people who are rich might end up saying being rich doesn’t give you happiness. Happiness comes from allowing yourself to express your value system. However, without money it is the cause of so many miseries in our life. We need to align our career and business within our value system. Happiness and wealth will follow.

Remembering who we are

We are living in a fast paced environment. In most of the time we don’t remember who we really are. We are bounded in time. Every weekday, we are awakened by the alarm clock. Hastily, we take the shower, prepare breakfast and get ready to work to run to get into the car/bus/ train. It takes great effort to be there at 8 o’clock at the work place. If we are stuck in traffic jam that would delay us, we normally get frustrated and even sound the barking horn.

Most people think that we work hard. Most people are not really happy with our jobs and the situation that we are in. This creates a tremendous stress and strain on us. The amount of work in our life may overwhelm us until we find it difficult to relax. In the morning, we are looking forward for lunch and in the evening we are looking forward to return home to relax. When we return home, we have bounded to household duties such as paying the bills, doing the house chores, entertaining the family just to mention a few. We have little time to spend on ourselves to relax. Even if we relax, we squander the time in front of TV, games and aimless internet surfing. We really never be really happy. Life seems to bring one problem after the other. As life goes on, we struggle to find the moment of happiness and peace. We can leave the problem by going for holidays. When holidays return, we are back to the ’reality’. We still have not found fulfilment for ourselves. Those problems are not new. As we aged, people try to make their life easier. We start to wonder whether there is way to find the peace in ourselves. Can we find in the world which concentrates so much in materialism? When we start to think about eternal peace and happiness, then we look at the life of a great saints and great mystics. Even though they are prosecuted in physical life, they are still in the state of bliss. They live in normal day to day life and are able to find the happiness on themselves. There are saints that don’t leave the society. They live in the society and are able to find eternal peace and eternal bliss.
They tell us that in each human being there is a spark of light that is God. The spark of light is the true essence of us. It is not the part of physical body that we are trying to comfort. We live in a world with full of responsibilities, we find that when we look at ourselves, we might think that all the time we have is to sustain ourselves. It is the part of our soul to yearn for peace and happiness. For us to gain eternal happiness and eternal bliss, we need to focus our attention to the spark that makes us. It is the source of peace, bliss and happiness. Within ourselves lays the treasure of divinity, the answer of who we are and where do we come from and we do we go after physical death.
The concept of God might be too alienated for some people. How do we start to cultivate the sense of peace and happiness of ourselves to begin with? The answer lays on sweet remembrance of a person. When you have a sweet remembrance of a person, you banish all negative thoughts about him. Your heart lightens and your mind clear. The tongue of a loving heart is always sweet. Whenever you feel sad, frustrated, angry and jealous, you can practice sweet remembrance. If you are stuck in traffic jam, think of something sweet.
Saints keep their happiness with sweet remembrance of the Creator and their connection to it. People who have undergone near death experience always describe a state of bliss beyond human languages when they meet with their higher-selves. They always returned with a renewed interest of life.

Knowing how to reconnect ourselves with the Creator and higher-self is beneficial to your well-being. Techniques on how to reconnect to your higher-self and the Creator can be found in this article.
For those who have established connection with God, would start to recall ecstatic sensation such as the inner music within. There is a forum specially designed for people to share the experience. The recalling the inner music can rejuvenate our spirit and our purpose on earth. Mediation allows us to keep in touch with the source. With sufficient practice, the inner music can be replayed in your mind with ease.
Every day we are left we 3-4hours in the evening with most time spend on the house chores. It is difficult to do something else. We might think that we are very busy and we should feel lucky as in 100 years ago, they themselves are also busy with other activities. We advent of technology, we should make use of it to make our life more convenience so that we can spare more time ourselves to go within. It is the priority that we would set ourselves. This will determine whether the person will meet his/her goal. If we take a couple of minutes on day to day life to focus the sweet remembrance of a person or the Creator, we can find happiness and bliss.
Remembering the true essence of who we are or any sweet remembrance can bring a lot benefits to us:
- Our mind will be still
- No time to criticize anyone else
- No bad thoughts on others
- Our mind will be purified
- Our action will be pure
- A change of positive perspective
We are all connected. Let’s me prove you in mathematics. You have two parents and your each parents have each two parents making them four connected to you. In 100 years, there are 4 generations and hence you are connected with 24 persons. Looking back in 500 years, you are connected to an awesome of 220 persons (more than a million) and if you keep looking back during the time of Christ you are connected to all the population of earth of that time.
When we see our light, we become the pillar of truth and strength of others and strength to others. As we concentrate within, we start to realize the truth self. As we realize our truth self we have the attraction to know more and more.
I ended this article with a saying from Jesus (quoted from Gospel of Thomas No24)

His followers said “Show us the place where you are, for we must seek it.
He said to them, “Whoever has ears should hear. There is light within a person of light and it shines on the whole world. If it does not shine, it is dark.”

Scientists said that I will be earning a lot of money

I have a significantly longer ring fingers than index fingers. Am I have tendency to be successful in competative environment? Am I going to earn a lot of money?

Have a look on this. Interesting. How extent is the truth? What is the probability?

Malaysia entering into recession?

The effect of global recession is starting to be felt in Penang. I always like to make prediction. Of course the companies that are most affected first are multi-national companies which sales are mainly in USA and Europe. Almost every week I saw news of retail shops in UK being brought into administration as a result of near bankruptcy. Retail cars in Malaysia would be the next to be effected. Watch out. We will see some car retails declaring insolvency because of the lack of cash flow. The next would be affected is retails in particularly non-essential items like clothes, computer and entertainment hardware. There will be less people eating in the restaurant as the budget tightened. My gut feeling is that this global recession is the worst since the great depression. The economic contraction in USA will continue at least until spring.